You know how it goes, ditching Northeast winters for yearlong sunshine. While seemingly most popularly reserved for the recently retired, nearly three years ago, Dempsey Arsenault did just that.
The Boston Guard midfielder grew up in New Hampton, N.H., and played lacrosse at Boston College. Upon graduating in 2019, Arsenault stuck around Boston, joining the Harvard women’s lacrosse coaching staff in 2021-22 as a volunteer assistant coach. Itching for a change in forecast during months that end in “ber” — plus some — Arsenault talked to her close friend and former Eagles teammate, Cara Urbank, about her thoughts on moving to San Diego. After one “I’ll go too,” the pair booked it West together.
With it, Arsenault left her traditional Thanksgiving festivities with the chilly New Hampshire fall. Instead of traveling back home for the holiday, her family clung to a new custom in California. In each of the last three years, Arsenault’s parents, Lara and Jamie, flew to her for a weeklong visit of Friendsgiving-like festivities.
Growing up, Arsenault’s family and extended family took turns hosting the 15 to 25 guests for Thanksgiving. There were times, she said, her immediate family spent the holiday traveling around to lacrosse or hockey tournaments. (Dempsey also played hockey and field hockey in high school.) But always, games were involved. Somehow. Some way.
Football flooded TVs, or found its way to be played outside in the snow. A skate at the nearby hockey rink could follow. “Left Right Center” chips sprawled over tables. (One year, a ping pong table was used instead of the dining table since it could fit more people around it.) “Telestrations” — a party game of visual telephone, where players take turns drawing secret words before guessing what the previous person drew — might turn a shark into a baseball. Lots of laughter, cheering and maybe a little screaming ricocheted off the walls.
“While sports were always important, we always tried to make family time,” Arsenault said. “I remember it was fluid; we didn’t have one standard tradition. We just made sure we were all together, sports were usually involved, and go from there.”
Visiting Dempsey in San Diego for that first Thanksgiving was a fun change of pace for the Arsenaults. That year, Dempsey, her parents and her then-three roommates threw a Friendsgiving potluck to celebrate the holiday. An at-home escape room game — in which everyone worked together to solve a murder mystery — ensued. The games changed, but always returned.
Another constant? The classic turkey and mashed potatoes — which, along with squash, is Dempsey’s favorite. But none compare to being together. That, Dempsey said, is the tradition.
“The biggest thing is just being around family,” Lara said.
Human connection is the driver of their holidays. Oftentimes, in Arsenault’s life, lacrosse is a driver of human connection.
“Even out here, the networking of the lacrosse community and the impact Dempsey’s having on so many young girls is amazing, and I’m just so proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone and coming out here and creating this life and just seeing her so happy,” Lara said. “That fills my heart with joy.”
Arsenault’s coaching and training business has continued in California, where she said the wall ball stickwork sessions she oversees have become “my favorite part of the week.” Against rainbow walls that continue up into the sky as day blends to night, it’s easy to see why.
